Stop Looking For Validation. It’s Ruining Your Self-Esteem…

Cam Billings
5 min readApr 18, 2022
Photo by Sir Manuel on Unsplash

We all have a human need to be loved and cared for by others. It’s natural to want to be loved by your family and friends. But you should stop looking for validation from them. Instead, seek validation only from yourself.

What other people think of your or your opinions doesn’t matter. Seriously.

You’re quick to seek what others think. But you’re slow to seek what you think.

Your opinion is the first and most important opinion you should listen to.

Even though we all have a human need to want attention, it doesn’t mean you should seek it in the form of validation. There are healthier ways to get attention…

Do things that inspire others. Make something. Learn something new and share it with others. Achieve. And so on…

Let your actions speak for themselves. You’ll get the attention you deserve from them.

You don’t actually feel better after seeking validation from others.

Validation destroys you…

Validation destroys your confidence and self-esteem. It makes you rely on other people’s opinions for your own confidence and self-esteem.

These people’s opinions of you may or may not be their real opinions of you. They may lie to you to be “nice”. Or they may give condescending opinions that are a reflection of who they are on the inside.

People’s opinions of you are unreliable. They can change on a whim. One day, they may be in a good mood and view you favorably. The next day, they may be in a bad mood and get frustrated by you.

If you rely on other people’s opinions of you, then you’re dependent on them.

If you seek validation, then you’ll have low confidence and self-esteem. This will cause you to act in ways that aren’t in your best interest. You’ll destroy yourself and you won’t even realize it. You’ll feel anxious, depressed, hopeless, and out of control of your own life.

Looking for validation from others makes you look needy. It lowers people’s perceived value of you. And this will be reflected by how they treat you. Once you realize that they see you as low value, you’ll feel…

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Cam Billings

Copywriter. Take action. Make mistakes. Learn. Implement. Win.